


Fear

by Causa



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:36:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4877104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causa/pseuds/Causa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl had been attempting to honor Steven's wanting to sleep without her eyes on him, but on this night she could not help herself—she had to check on him, to see that he was safe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

Pearl had been attempting to honor Steven's wanting to sleep without her eyes on him, but on this night she could not help herself—she had to check on him, to see that he was safe.

When Pearl emerged from her room she saw Steven alone on the couch.

"Oh," she said, going to his side, "I didn't know you were awake, Steven."

"I—I just got here," he said, his voice soft.

Pearl glanced out the window; it was dark.

"Where've you been?"

"At the hospital with Connie."

"Oh—is she hurt?"

"No, no," said Steven. "She's fine. Thank goodness," he sighed. His eyes looked tired and his face was lined with worry.

"What happened, Steven?"

"N—Nothing really." Steven looked around. "Where's Garnet?"

"She's on a mission," Pearl said. "So is Amethyst."

"I…" Steven began before shutting his mouth "I don't know if I should…"

"What is it, Steven?"

Steven took in a large breath and said without pause, "There were these gem clusters in the hospital and we had to fight them and I don't want to tell Garnet because she was so upset by them but Dr. Maheswaran made it sound like there were more and—"

"Steven, did you say…clusters?"

"The forced fusions! There were two and there's probably more, and I don't know what to do."

Pearl felt fear rising in her but Steven's concerned eyes muted it. "You don't need to worry about Garnet," she said. "If they're going to cause trouble she'll have already seen it."

Steven looked at her, bleary-eyed.

"Were they—aggressive?"

"I—I don't think so," said Steven. "Until they saw me."

Pearl hummed, relieved. "Well, as long as they're not hurting the humans, I suppose they don't need to be a top priority."

"Pearl!" Steven's voice was high, his face flushed. "How can you say that? They're gems and they seem really hurt and confused. We should be helping them."

Pearl crossed her arms. "Well it's not like we could do anything for them anywa—"

Steven's eyes were large and glistening, his left hand fervently clutching his shirt, his lips parted, lines forming on his face.

"Oh, Steven," Pearl sighed.

"What?"

"You—"

You look just like her. 

__

_"Oh Rose, don't cry. It's impossible for us to—"_

_"Don't you at least want to try? There's so many of them!"_

_"Exactly! That's why…why don't we…"_

_Be better than this, her eyes implore. Look at it like she is. They are conscious, somehow, you know. Conscious and what if they were important? What if they could be? What if they were like you—they just needed a catalyst? You thought you were hopeless and look where you are now._

_But after seeing so many cracked, corrupted, and now so grotesquely malformed—  
_  
The grip on Steven's shirt loosened and he said quietly, "We have to help them."  
 _  
You forget sometimes. They've been on the tip of your spear too many times. But they were like you once. How like you were they? They might not be worth trying to save._

Steven's eyes are wide and shining, glistening like Rose's did. _That's not your call to make. Try as you may you will never feel the love that Rose felt so limitlessly, extending toward every living thing. But you admire it so much so you try._

"You're right, Steven," Pearl said, her body warm. She noticed the circles under his eyes. "But right now you should rest."

"I will," said Steven with a slow nod. "Pearl?"

"Yes, Steven?"

"Do you think…Do you think about if Mom were here?"

Pearl felt chilled. "I—I—occasionally. Why do you ask?"

Steven sighed, his eyes lowered. "It seems like—like I just keep getting reminded…I wonder what she would be like. I wonder if—" he bit his lip and his voice quieted "—if she would like me."

" _Steven_ ," Pearl said, kneeling and placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, "of course she would. She'd be so proud of you."

"You think?" he sniffed.

"Of course."

"Of what?" he said. "Everyone says Mom was brave and smart and—" his eyes fell "—and I'm nothing like that."

His lips parted as Rose's did when she was caught in thought. Pearl bit her lip and breathed deeply.

"Steven…you're so much alike."

"Really?" He wiped his blurry eyes.

Pearl nodded, unable to put into words the way he looked at all of them—even her—with such large and loving eyes, the way he sprang up after tripping, the way he—though she hated it—leapt to her aid with no hesitation. He hugged like her, with his arms wrapped round her back and his eyes shut, mouth relaxing into a contented smile. Pearl could feel herself relaxing too, but it wasn't the same, and would never be.


End file.
